"Every girl needs a cute purse, red shoes, and a good place to be alone with God."

4 More Days!

Oh my, oh my

I have two bits of news. One is a complaint and the other is an announcement (and no, I am not pregnant).

Complaint: We have two teachers retiring this year and one leaving. Word on the street is the newbies will get rooms- not me. Stupid. That's all. It may not even be true, but still.

Announcement: No Peace Corps. I know, I know. The last time I wrote about this subject I was "ecstatic", and indeed I really was. It was very exciting at the time, and at the time I really did feel God leading me to apply. I still don't doubt that he was. However, the past few weeks I have felt unsure and very pessimistic about continuing the application process. In fact, I have put off and put off the second part of the application. I am usually on top of things like this. I really dislike irresponsible people who can't meet deadlines- but I was becoming one. I couldn't work up the desire to take some of my quality time and fill out another application. It wasn't that I had more important things to do- I just didn't want to fill out the second part. I didn't understand. I kept praying about it and really started to feel that this was not where God was leading me. I don't know why I felt led to apply before- maybe it was a trust thing- but I knew for sure that at this point God was leading me away. So the time came to where I had to tell Chris. (I hadn't talked to him about it yet, because this was his idea and I didn't want to disappoint him.)

Sunday night came and we got to eat dinner together- which is unusual for softball season apparently. I started crying (poor Chris)- and just kept saying this is the hardest decision I have ever made. He understood, and had actually been feeling the same way. It's great how God works in each person! Chris already thinking he didn't want to go was a huge blessing because I already felt like I was ruining his life dreams. I know it sounds like I am being completely dramatic- and think what you will- but this was a huge deal for us to even consider, finally apply, and then back out. We aren't usually ones to "quit".

So, after much MORE prayer, and many pro and con lists, we have withdrawn our Peace Corps application. It's not for us right now. Does this mean moving back to Arkansas? We don't know. It means moving wherever the jobs are. I just know that I have never felt such a burden lifted. It was truly amazing how confident I felt the next morning. Which was a wonderful reminder that we made the right decision.

Have a great day!

A Book Worth Talking About

As I have talked about before, state tests kind of suck, but I understand the necessity. On that note, Indiana has given the ISTEP test to high school students the past few years. Students are tested over English and Math, and have to pass the test in order to graduate without a waiver. Obviously, not every student passes the test. For those who don't, there is something called remediation. I teach a remediation class to Juniors and Seniors who have trouble passing the test. Side note- Indiana no longer does the ISTEP, but has joined many other stated in giving End Of Course exams for English, Math, and Science. So, my class is made up of wonderful students who struggle with English- making my job difficult. To get them interested in a book is hard, and when I find one, it's definitely worth sharing.

So here it is:

Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson, hit home to my students for many reasons. Speak deals with depression, school, teachers, friends, boys, and rape.

Speak is told through the eyes of a freshman girl who is struggling with all of the above. She takes the reader on a journey of her first year of high school, allowing us to feel what she feels. The book is sarcastic, funny, sad, random at times, and frustrating. It stirs up emotions in the reader that any good book should.

My students connected to this book because they have all, at one time or another, felt like outcasts. They related to the story in many different ways. Though this book is not one I would teach in a regular class, it is one I will continue teaching in remediation.

And I recommend it in general. Very good. :)

It's that time of year!

Well, it's here- it's finally the end of the year! And let me tell you, it's busy! This week consists of 5 softball games, 1 awards assembly (with awards for student council as well as my classes), Senior Night for softball, one of our most important softball games, Student Council elections, and the school picnic of which I have been left in charge of (thanks to my StuCo responsibilities). Oh yeah- AND the End of Course Exams for my sophomores! I am biting my nails with worry. I wish they understood why this test is so important...

On the bright side I am making a wreath with help from a few sites and friends. I am excited to have time for a craft this weekend!

I am also having books and breakfast with my seniors on Friday- yum!

I am honestly getting sad about my last few weeks with my classes. I have grown to love their company, humor, and even moodiness. I never thought I would be sad to see the year coming to an end. It's interesting how I have learned to adapt to being a teacher. I think I will stick with it for at least a while longer. Hopefully next year I can remind myself of this. :)

"Don't hold back a kind word or a loving deed- they have God's blessings all over them."

"Anytime is a good time for a quiet prayer and chocolate."

Katie's engagement!

One of my very best friends, Katie, got engaged on April 10! Her fiance invited us to meet them in St. Louis so we could be a part of such a great event. He proposed at the same place he asked her to be his girlfriend- a bar! Also significant because that's where they met. I think a wedding in a bar would be a blast- but I guess it's not up to me. ;) It was a perfect proposal and her rind is beautiful! Here are a few pics from the weekend!

Quick Update

Quote of the day on my desk calander: "She knew there would be bumps in the road, so she protected her heart, adjusted her attitude, and held onto God's promises with both hands."

What's been happening: My bestfriend, Katie, got engaged! And we got to be there to help celebrate. My brother-in-law got engaged! :) Yay! I gave Chris a Suprise Birthday party! Softball is exhausting, but so much fun!

That's all for now. I will expand later!

So, I love Francesca Battistelli. A lot. She seems to sing what I am thinking. I heard this song a while ago, but I just recently really listened to it- and it fits so perfectly. Love it!


My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me

I’m not afraid
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

I love this song because of it's message- it's hard to let go of everything I have ever wanted. My dreams seem to be fading quickly and I am left with absolute cluelessness as to what I want to do with my life or where I want to be in 5 years. This is a complete leap of faith for me and way far away from my comfort zone, yet God has given me a complete peace about it. I am not worried, I'm not concerned, and I am ready for what's next! It's very exciting.

On a school related note, softball is in full swing. I am exhausted!

I recently took over a computer lab so I didn't have to push through the hallways with my cart- however- it's research paper time. Meaning all labs are filled. So, it's back to roaming the halls, being mistaken for a student, being late for every class, and constantly forgetting things. To make it worse it's End of Course time, so that means I am lugging around tons and tons of preparation materials and workbooks! No fun. But hey! I'm burning calories!

Speaking of the End of Course test- it's hard! Very hard. With trick questions. I am genuinely concerned. This is the first year Indiana has done the test so there is not much available. Students are getting frustrated and concerned, because if they don't pass, they don't graduate. Don't get me wrong- I think testing students on what they should know is fine. Not great- but fine. However, trick questions? C'mon. Don't put two answers that could both arguably be right and ask which one is the best. I don't know what the test thinkers think is the best. I know what I think is the best- but it has not matched up a couple of times. It's very annoying, especially when they want to base my salary on how well students do. But that's a whole other post and I don't feeling like getting mad before I start the school day.

Just a few morning thoughts. Hope you all have a fantastic day and weekend! :)

First Step

I think this post is going to be a little ironic based on the contents of my previous post. But oh well.

It's official. We have submitted our applications for the Peace Corps. We were told that we would receive a phone call within the next two weeks for possible interviews.

For those of you who know me well, you know how hard of a decision it was for me to even consider thinking about applying. Chris first mentioned it last year (I think) and I said, "No." There was no way I was going to leave my family and friends. Ten hours is far enough away for me. My plan was to head back to Arkansas after Grad School- or at least closer home. I just can't imagine not being close enough to fly home for a funeral, wedding, birth, or any event that I "want" to be at. My Aunt's funeral in February was a reminder that life goes on- even if I am away. I have friends with weddings possibly approaching, maybe even babies. I don't want to miss these things. Big events still happen and I don't want to feel as though I am not able to see family and friends when I need them. I also can't fathom the idea of Christmas away from my family.

But, as I am learning, apparently God has his own plans. After tons and tons of prayer I finally felt God pushing me to apply. Now, this doesn't mean that we will accept or be accepted, but it's a start, and oddly enough, I am ecstatic. I think it would be an eye opening experience to immerse myself in another culture and get to know what life is like outside of my comfort zone. I want to learn what it's like to live in other people's shoes (at least a little more). I also feel it would be great for me professionaly- especially the fact that I will have to learn another langauge(maybe). I also think it would be a great experience to have with my hubby.

But like I said, they have to accept us first, and that's difficult. Apparently tons of people apply- and we are married- which make us harder to place. I am continually praying for God's guidance and that we are able to follow his will for our lives, and I ask you to do the same. :)

The Natural State

I miss Arkansas. Here are a few specifics.

Friends.

Arkansas Razorback spirit.

Pedestrian Bridge.

Family.

The River Market- including the used book store.

Downtown.

I miss the Buffalo River- I am in need of a nice long river float!